Sunday, 29 April 2012

Let me Work it Out

Oh how I love the Gym. Who would have thought the girl who used to get her mum to write her a note to get her out of PE at school would love working out so much! Don't get me wrong it hurts, and I thoroughly want to die throughout, but It makes me feel so good! Plus I've lost half a stone and in general everything is getting tighter!!

I've been doing the classes and having a swim and doing a bit on the old cardio stuff but I decided if I was going to turn from flabby anne to sexpot I was going to need some serious intervention. So I hired Johnny. Personal trainer who promised me he could get me gorgeous in 3 months. Naturally being keen to make sure I was doing everything right at home I had his number. Texts became, shall we say, suggestive. And last night he asked me if I wanted to go to a swingers club with him. Now let me tell you kids, I have never been to such a place before, I was dubious, I also had greasy hair and in general couldnt be bothered going out. So just texting for now but...

I am considering commiting the ultimate cliche and shagging my personal trainer

Unsure how I feel about this. Ground rules have been laid out at the start  - no relationship, no strings attached and everything remains the same. Fine by me I thought, I couldnt have him as a boyfriend anyway, far too short, I can't handle a dwarf. Feel a bit unsure of myself though because he seems to be VERY experienced and I feel a bit nervous. It could be just what the doctor ordered for me though. it. My mojo has returned with a bang this year and I needed some hot loving. On the whole I would say he will do as a Fuckbuddy. Why not hey? Sadly I will still have to pay for PT sessions

Who is Adam?

Well haven't I been a busy girl this week!!! After being called FAT by the loser down south I decided to join a gym. I'll show that prick I thought, in 3 months time I'll be bloody gorgeous, I'll have abs you can bounce 50p's off and in general I'll be living the life of a winner.

So i skipped down to my local Gym and once I had discovered it was literally wall to wall cock in there, I was sold. To truly ensure the body beautiful was achieved I also hired myself a personal can see where this is going can't you!!

Anyway before I get onto that I really need to discuss the undeniably slutty situation I found myself in last week! Went to a rave with a couple of my friends and whilst heavily intoxicated I thought it might be fun to have a competition with my friend Sasha to see who could kiss the most boys. Sasha wasn't playing properly. I however was disco kissing like it was going out of fashion and I found myself strangely attracted to a boy by the name of Adam. We were kissing all night, running around holding hands like giddy kids and didnt I end up in a hackney on my way back to his at 2am. It may have been the cheeky ecstasy tablet i'd dropped, or it may have been the fact I was eager to wipe out the last disasterous shag I had had, but fuck me I was like belle de jour on steds that night. Gave him some of my best moves and was downright filthy in general. Next morning however I awoke dazed and confused, unsure of where I was and keen to vacate the property and revert back to sensible self.  Was shaggers remorse setting in? I hoped not. I looked around for clues as to my location but couldn't find so much as a paper bill with an address. Knickers also sadly had been lost in transit and I'll be honest kids it was not my finest hour. Berated myself for being a whore and had to text my cousin to see if he could arrange for a search party to come and retrieve me from den of eniquity. Adam then woke up. And god love him he was realy nice to me. Gave me a lift home and everything! But I didn't take his number,.,,,or indeed his second name. Between you and me I would have liked a repeat performance but alas I have no idea who this dude is. I've sent out a few tentative enquiries and we shall have to wait and see.