Monday, 19 March 2012

it got ugly!!!

So later today i got a rather emotional message from Andy saying he was hurt because I was refusing to delete his friends from facebook and i even met his mother therefore that should tell me how he felt about me...yes but then you went and fucked another girl!! Anyway I was remaining pleasant as in spite of the immense shit he has bestowed upon me, it is not in my nature to be mean to anyone.
Well then he went and called me a fat lower class council scum cunt didnt he. And I saw red. So i copied and pasted his numerous texts onto twitter. What planet is this dude on if he think's I am the one to blame. He sent such awful things to me, telling me it was a shame I left when I did because I could have watched him shagging that chick. Really did hurt my feelings. I also called his bluff on his shagging the escorts and he admitted it. urgh absolutely vile! So yes I took the low road and copied and pasted the entire conversation onto twitter and it was warmly received. He also sent me a message saying "haha you will have to wait until 9am to see your present" so I replied and said whats that then a severed head? a prostitute? Chlamydia? he replied and said back off  im more interested in another girl so I said Thank Christ for that!!! There but for the grace of god go i! shes a lucky lady!!! and that is how it was left.

I feel great that I publically displayed his absurdities on twitter although I think I've kissed my make up bag goodbye. I guess it was worth it though to have the last laugh. I don't understand his position here. I said to him he shouldnt hate me, he should respect me for removing myself from a car crash situation. He won't see it that way though. Very strange behaviour. Lucky escape I think.

In other news Ryan has put me off until Wednesday now so not sure the 3some will happen but I shall keep you updated!!!

Good Mood Shatered

Good morning campers, I was in a marvellous mood this morning, the sun is shining, my tits look great, I was grooving along to James Morrison on my i-pod and in general I was being a winner. Unfortunately my good mood was brought to an abrupt end by a facebook message from Andy..."why are you still messaging my friends? Fuck this your shit is going in the bin!"
The message he is referring to was actually me replying to his friend to something she had written on my wall. I resent the "you are stalking me" undertones to this message. I replied and explained I was simply replying to what he friend had said, requested politely he post my things back to me and then pointed out we were not involved enough to warrant this level of bad feeling between us. I also stated that I had no adverse feelings towards him at al.
Marginal white lie there, we are now a week on and I am still very miffed about the whole incident, although I am more feeling shitty about myself than I do about him....thats the way it goes isn't it, they treat us like shit and we feel we are to blame. Still I really do want my stuff back.
Looking at it, I am confused as to why he didn't just cut off all contact with me if he didn't want to know.Would have been quite easy for him to just block me on everything and not return my call's and actually throw my stuff away. Is he looking for excuses to talk to me?
Stop over analysing everything you silly girl the man mugged you off to shag some slag.

Sunday, 18 March 2012

Good day today

Had a lovely mothers day today, have eaten too much however and now I feel like an obese fat fuck that needs her mouth sewing up. Aside from that I am in good spirits! Ryan called me before to say he has found a great girl for our threesome. It is scheduled to take place on Tuesday. Now I'm apprehensive kids don't get me wrong but I'm also intrigued...I think if I am going to do this then ryan is really the only person I could possibly do it with. I have already slept with him several times, I have also done a mmf threesome with him before, I feel comfortable enough with him to let go of my inhibitions, but not emotionally attached to him that I may end up upset afterwards. The only thing is his cock is absolutely enormous and fucking him can sometimes be quite an ordeal. And there is the obvious... I've never been with a girl before. Still you only live once ay?!!! And on wednesday ryan and I are going sightseeing round London town which I am most looking forward to! I have not heard from Andy for 2 days now. I am dying to contact him but I just can't be bothered with him being horrible to me. Its such a shame, we clicked so well together. I really hope he is gutted about our demise but something tells me he couldn't give a shiny shite. Make up bag is still missing in action. It's probably been ebayed by now. Not that andy needs the money. Andy has lots of cash. And when I say cash, I mean tens of thousands of pounds in 20's and 50's in his wardrobe. He reckons he owns his own business and it is all legit, and far be it for me to doubt him.....yeah he's just full to the brim of shit isn't he. Lucky escape me thinks.
This is the problem isn't it. I just love the danger and unpredictability of these rogues. A nice guy that always returns my would bore me. I need surprise's and a challenge. Its a catch 22 situation. I'm not sure I will find such men appealing in 30yrs time. In fact I doubt any of them would still be alive in 30yrs time. I need to meet a dude that's perfect for me. Mission impossible? The quest continues!
Anyway back to operation recover from my heartache. It is precisely one week since Andy and I went down to his friends bar and right about now things where all great....little did I know in a few hours time I would be feeling rejected, alone and above all else mugged off.
I never got a reply to the facebook message I sent to my ex boyfriend on facebook either. Ignorant fucker. To be fair I have sent him about 3 messages since Christmas and he didnt reply to any of them. Perhaps he has a new girlfriend. I was devastated when we split, and I can't think why....his eyes where too far apart and he had surprisingly little stamina for someone that ran the marathon. Always kept stopping mid fuck for a rest. Might have been a con for me to get on top I suppose, but it was bloody annoying. I faked it a lot with him, but he was older than me and seemed to be a grown up. He wasn't though, he is Peter Pan and we finished because I wrote on his facebook wall and he "couldnt handle the pressure". Note to self - You need a man that does not scare easy,

Saturday, 17 March 2012

Action I am taking to counteract the heartache

Obviously after having been shit on from a great height by numerous bastards over the years I have developed somewhat of a pattern to coping with this precarious transitional phase from smitten kitten to cynicnal bitch.

Stage one. Delete his phone number.
Ladies I can not stress this enough, texting the fucker is never going to reap rewards you want. If he replies, you may end up back with the prick, and if he doesn't, your sense of rejection is amplified a million percent. It isn't just a simple case of deleting the number either, you have to delete all the text messages, all the whatsapp messages, all the call our wonderful age of smartphone technology it is imperative that you delete all trace of that number from every nook and cranny of your phone because if you don't, believe me, the drunk you will find it...and it is never pretty. Once you have mastered the phone number deletion you must also delete that scoundrel from facebook. Facebook is the route of all relationship evil people and if someone is heartbroken they will be going out of their way to make out like they are having a fucking good time. Delete them, and then visualise them sobbing and asking themselves why. I also recommend you lock your tweets. Unfortunately if they have not locked theirs you will be unable to resist having a sneaky peek which in my case has resulted in seeing him message every whore in the south east london area AND propose marriage to his ex girlfriend. Cunt.

Stage two. Acquire attention
I have never felt so shit about myself as I did whilst Andy and his new piece crept off to presumably shag each others arses off and leaving me out in the cold. Therefore I need a man to make me feel beautiful IMMEDIATELY. I have already arranged to go back down to London on Tuesday to see Ryan and I have requested to do things which will cheer me up. Firstly we are going to go on an open top bus round London to see the sights, then we are going to have dinner, and then I am going to do my first MFF threesome. I have done a MMF one before with Ryan and his mate but never with a girl. To be honest, it seemed like a good idea at the time of suggestion but I am starting to panic now. Im just not into flange, and the thought of being face to flaps with one is filling me with a dark sense of dread. Still, I feel I need to tick this off my list and I am all for a chick going down on me. In FACT im looking forward to it because I reckon a girl will do it much better than a boy. We shall see. I am defo shagging Ryan though I can't bare the thought of Andy being the last person I have slept with especially since it transpires he is keeping the London escort trade in business single handedly.

I have also done the usual, sent a friendly message to my ex boyfriend who broke my heart around 9 months ago and have of course been in constant textual contact with at least 2 other dudes, neither of which I am remotely interested in....well thats not true, I would definately love to be one of their girlfriends but as he lives in Brighton and is moving to Marbella in 3 weeks its not really a possibility.

I have decided I am going to keep a daily blog from now on so you can walk with me through this treacherous path of's not all as grim as it fact I actually pretty much live a crazy life for someone in such a mundane exisitance. Stick with me kids, its going to be fun :-)

The aftermath of the latest relationship disaster

I am currently bed ridden after having to dump the latest tosser. I did it in the form of text message which may sound harsh but you just wait until you hear what this vile specimen of a human being did...we shall get to that shortly.

A bit about myself first. I'm 27 and a single mother living in Liverpool. I'm not one of these pyjama wearing, jeremy kyle appearing, bingo hall dwelling single mothers which I am aware that description may at first conjure up the image of. I am actually doing alright, I own my own house and car, and I not an ugly bastard either. Which is why it is like the riddle of the sphynx why I can not seem to find a suitable young man to tick my last box.

I shall get back to the cause of my distress. I first met this dude on twitter. One of my very close friends ryan lives in London and it was a friend of his that started tweeting me one day. Phone numbers where exchanged and chit chat became of a sexual nature, you know how it goes. Anyway on a trip down to London to visit ryan friend, fate through me into the path of this tweeting casa nova (or rather my friend had been out on a bender and had fallen asleep therefore I called the dude hereby known as Andy to see if he had my friends house phone number and I ended up going round to his flat). From here we ended up having a few liasons and some of the dirtiest sex in recent memory. 6 days ago I went down to visit him and it was going great. Young Andy was declaring his love for me, asking to me my boyfriend, really laying it on with a trowel. Then hours later another chick showed up and dearest Andy (now heavily off his face on an inconceivable amount of cocaine) announced to me he wished to fuck this chick. I was stuck in London with no way of escape! I called my ryan but Andy begged me to stay....stupidly I did, and sat through hours of him sneaking off with this new slag whilst I appeared demure and unbothered sitting in his flat with the rest of his friends. I wanted to stick pencils in both of their eyes.
It got to around 7am and Andy had disappeared off to bed (alone). So I went into his room, woke him up, climbed on top of his cock and had a final fuck before getting dressed and cabbing it over to  ryans house where I sobbed for 2 hours before getting the train home. It was at this point I sent the "I dont want to see you any more" text, and this was where it got ugly.
He started talking to ME like I was the dickhead! Slagging me off, being completely horrendous to me! Why?!! I am the victim here! I really liked him and was basically told he wanted someone else (In fact I recall his exact words where "God I want her"). I had no choice but to offload him. Of course in my haste to evacuate I did not notice I had left my fucking make up bag in his flat. It was only when he text me to tell me it was there did I realise hundreds of pounds worth of camoflage was now a casualty of war. He said he would post it back to me but as yet I am still waiting. I have offered to send my friend to collect it, he said no. I have offered to pay for postage, he will not send it. He has also taken to openly messaging prostitutes on twitter and also asking his ex girlfriend if she will marry him. I will admit, I am marginally offended. I am also DYING for him to just text me and tell me he loves me again although sadly after many years of playing the single game I will be unable to fall for such utter shite as I can see this one would only end in tears (more than likely mine).

So I am distraught. Although I can cling to the fact it was myself that sent officially did the dumping, we all fucking know I was dumped the moment he told me he wanted to fuck someone else so it is little consollation.