Andy Returns

So, it is the one fact true of all men. It is an exact science. They will always, ALWAYS, without exception, come back, tail between their bastard legs and expecting you to drop your life and fuck them again.
It wasnt long after the swingers club when the phone goes, and imagine my surprise when I answer and it is Andy declaring his undying love and wanting me to go round to his house...or as he phrased it "come back home"

What, the actual, fuck?

So I quizzed him a bit on why he was such a fucker and apparently he was "in a really bad place back then" and he's "self destructive and he pushes everything good in his life away"

Now clearly I should tell this money laundering cocaine addict where to go and fuck off however something is drawing me back. I don't know if it is the champagne lifestyle or the amazing sex, but whatever it is I need to keep my wits about me here as I do not want to be mugged off again.

I told him I had been swinging. He was awful upset. Made me laugh actually because in the car on the way home kelly clarksons song what doesnt kill you makes you stronger came on the radio and in it there is a line that goes "you didnt think that id come back, id come back swinging" and I thought yeah Andy you didnt see this one coming did you haha!

Anyway we'll see what happens. He is defo not boyfriend material but he is a good shag and I do believe there is a good person beneath the bad beak habit so we'll see what happens. Although its been almost a week now and I havent had a single visit from interflora or received any wooing whatsoever so he might have to remain on the island of lost men.

Also decided to text my other ex boyfriend Mark about my swinging. Mark who I have not spoken to in a year and who dumped me because I wrote on his facebook wall and he said he couldnt handle that sort of pressure (it was about some photo's...what a fucking fanny). Anyway Mark was made up with the swinging and wanted me to go into graphic detail which I of course obliged him. He told me he was jealous and my PT was a lucky fucker. Something tells me dear old Mark has been on the receiving end of some substandard shagging since he fucked me off. Divine justice if you ask me.

So the PT sessions in the gym are still happening and it is surprisingly not awkward at all. In fact its great.

Got some other dude sending me messages on facebook too wanting to take me out on a date so I might let him after I get back from Ibiza. Why not? Cant tell if he's fit off his photo;'s though so will have to try him out in real life. He might be like me, I look like a fat ugly fucker in photo's.