Shags of Winters Past...

Jesus wept I've got so much I could blog about its untrue! Went to Spain for the DTR ended up the most drunk I have ever been in my whole life for the most part of it. I won't go into it too much but lets just say it involved vomit, running away from bars getting tomato's thrown at me, fall outs, tantrums, and the Gardia Civil. Had a fucking grin though hahaha
Right the main part of this blog is about a bit of drama that occured on Friday night. I used to have this mate right, I'm gonna call her crankie. So crankie was one of my best friends. She was always a bit high maintainance, pretty much always had to be her way or the highway and all of my mates didn't really like her very much because of this but I used to look past this and see the good part of her. She actually isn't evil or anything she's just a bad crank who can only see things from her point of view so when I write what happened don't automatically think "what a bitch" because its not thats she's a bitch she just can't really understand things from other peoples points of view but hey ho.
So the reason we fell out is complex. Last year I went through the single most difficult part of my entire life bar none. It started on a normal Tuesday afternoon in November when I discovered my Auntie lying in a pool of blood at her home. It turned out she had had an anneurysm and when i found her she had been on the floor for 2 days. She was relatively young at 57. Anyway she was rushed to hospital and spent the next month in intensive care. My cousin (her son), his bird, my mum and myself spent the next month going and sitting in Walton Neuro intensive care at her bedside day in day out waiting and praying but sadly the day before Christmas eve we were told there was no hope for her and she passed away on the 29th December. I was devastated. My cousin was just 23 at the time, both our dad's are not really around. I, being mindful of my own mothers health (my mum is older than my aunty was) took it upon myself to help our kid with the funeral arrangements. We did everything together, I even wrote the eulogy. We had the funeral, and as the 4 of us sat in silence the next day my phone rang and it was to tell me that my friend had comitted suicide. I was plunged into a deep state of shock and depression and in general life was a fucking shitter.
The reason me and crankie fell out was because I said to her I thought she could have been there for me a bit more. Now basically she will tell you I told her not to speak to me. Thats not what I said. I sent a message to all of my friends telling them I might be a bit awol as I was busy with stuff. This didn't mean don't reply to messages, especially not messages telling you that my mate had killed herself. Because thats what happened I text her and told her that on the saturday afternoon and she didn't reply until the Monday night and even that was a hi how are you feeling sort of message. She was also funny with me because we were meant to be booking flights to vegas the week of my aunties funeral and she didn't understand why I couldnt book. See its not that she doesn't care, its she really couldn't see that I'm planning a funeral, therefore booking flights to vegas and arranging my mother whos just lost her closest relative to mind the baby and book time off work etc was just not an option. I gently tried to tell her how I felt and she went mental telling me I was a shit mate and a liar and all this. Also the day I found my aunty while I was standing with the police waiting for the ambulance to come I text her and told her that she might not be able to come up this weekend (she lives in london) and she just kept texting about what should she do about her train tickets. Just like it completely did not register at all that I didn't give a fuck about her train tickets at that point dya know what I mean?? So we fell out. About a month later she said she didn't want to fall out over something silly, so I said well I didn't really think it was silly and spent 3hours typing her an email translating everything that had happened to me onto her life using people she knew to try and make her understand what I had been through so I used her mum as an example and said imagine you came home to find your mum on the floor etc, and she sent me this fucking mental message back saying I was sick and twisted for wishing her mother dead!!! And so I was like errrrr no I think uv missed the point but by this stage I just couldn't be fucking arsed so I had no choice but to call her a cunt and tell her to fuck off. And its really sad but as soon as I did I literally felt like a weight had been lifted and I could be free!!! Like I say though its not that she's a bad person, she's just a bit "oh thats really bad for you but heres how it affects me..." sort of thing. She's one of these that still lives at home with her parents, no kids, no real life experience and therefore it would be unfair of me to expect her to understand what I had been through etc but I did expect her to sort of at least try and see it from my point of view and think to herself shit I could have handled that a bit better there. But she didn't, and we don't speak, and now she slags me off to anyone who will listen.
On Friday this culminated in some major cranksville which I have now decided not to blog about for the sake of mankind soz abar that x
I am absolutely dying to tell you about another crank situation I had but I really can't because I know this crank and all his mates read this blog! Its such a shame though it had everything, drunk dialling, emotional outbursts all over the internet, inappropriately mental messaging for someone you've met twice in your whole life, the fucking works.  So I can't blog exactly what happened but as my very good mate Dolly said - note to self, don't date the fans.
So that's about all I have to report at the moment. Oh and the fact I have a majorly massive smile on my face at the moment, life is good and I'm happy. Going the gym now to get fit again
in a bit xxx