Blow Jobs

"Easy? You men have no idea what we’re dealing with down there. Teeth placement, and jaw stress, and suction, and gag reflex, and all the while bobbing up and down, moaning and trying to breathe through our noses. Easy? Honey, they don’t call it a job for nothing."

This week I would like to take a comprehensive look at the art of a blow job. It has been a point of discussion with our Suzie this evening because neither of us are really all that confident in our noshing ability. Whilst I would imagine we aren't totally shit at it I would certainly say it wasn't a key strength.
Having said that lets just say my protein intake has increased 5 fold this week so I must be doing something right.
The thing with blow jobs is you aren't getting any excitement yourself so all you are concentrating on is the enjoyment of your dude which means your attention is all on it. Also and I am sure this is the same for girls too but every dude likes it different. Some like it hard. Some like it gentle. Some like it rough, some like it with some twisty hand action and some like it to include deep throat and gagging and choking noises. So how do you fucking know if your doing it right???
I personally respond well to praise. If I'm doing it right, fucking tell me I'm doing it right, or I may assume he's bored and stop. Blokes seem to love blowjobs (although not all, some of them say they can't come from them, avoid these blokes like the plague as they will do fuck all for your ego and confidence trust me).
I would say I have picked up something of a technique over the course of my sexually active life but I really would appreciate feedback. I bet there are plenty of dudes who think they have a perfect oral sex technique but the amount of orgasms I have faked over the years suggests they probably aren't as good as what they think they are.
In my humble, amateur, novice, blind leading the blind opinion I would like to share the 2 main things I believe must be included in all my blow jobs. Firstly you need a lot of lubrication, normally spit will do the trick but if you've got a mouth like gandys flip flop then durex strawberry lubricant is my saving grace. In fact I think I may have just renamed my blowies @singlegalabto's special strawberry sucks. Decent. Secondly and I think crucially is you must always always appear to be absolutely LOVING giving the fucking blowjob. Even if you are bored to tears your jaws aching, your teeth are beginning to make a mark on the inside of your mouth and you are going dizzy, you have GOT to make out there is nothing you would rather be doing. You LOVE that cock and you WANT that cum. Eye contact tends to go down a treat too.
Oh and I have also learned that its not all about the willy. You got to give them balls attention too they all love that. You have to see the whole picture. I don't know if maybe I'm just shit at blow jobs or I haven't got the patience to actually go the whole way using oral action alone but I would say I am fairly certain I wouldn't get anywhere if I didn't add a bit of hand work into the mix. Yano where you kind of make your hand an extention of you mouth, do a few rwisty motions, they love all tha.
This is about as far as I have got with my blow job repetoir so far. I do have a few more tricks up my sleeve. I haven't quite worked out how naughty this dude is yet so its hard to know how far down my wrongun road it is to appropriate to go. Its so HARD (hehe) when you sleep with someone new to know whats ok and what isn't!! This is why I can't abide one night stands I like to perfect my performance and deliver a show stopper at all times but I find I don't normally start showing my full potential until like the 4th or 5th time. Im shy you see. I know that sounds like utter bollocks and perhaps I have in fact made that up. Maybe I lack confidence. Yes thats probably more the problem fucking shy who am I kidding, but yeah it takes me a couple of goes to build up to my full potential.
So the rest of my tricks then...I don't wanna say deep throat because although I will certainly give it a bloody good go, sometimes I just can't do it and almost fear I may vomit, but yes I do think it is important to get as much of that love length down your throat as you possibly can. They all love it. And don't worry too much about making wierd gagging noises because they all fucking love that too. OR DO THEY?? I dunno....but whenever I've done it in the past they get even harder so I'm thinking thats a yes?They don't fucking tell you though do they. What I could really do with is start leaving feedback forms at the side of my bed next to the cum tissues. I know some of them defo love it, gag noises, bits of spit coming out of your mouth, watering eyes, all that. But I would imagine that is probably not for all?? Fuck knows seriously I have no idea what I am doing.  
You really need to start venturing a bit further south aswell if you really are going to deliver the blow job to end all blow jobs.
Here is what I have learned
They all fucking Love it
But none of them like to own up to it.
It is a well established fact that if you have been at that blow job or indeed shag for an extended amount of time and they are on the brink but just aren't cumming, then a cheeky finger to the back door will have them exploding like the bellagio fountains themselves in a matter of seconds. Game Over.
BUT what really is the protocol here? If you ask them beforehand and they are not sexually open you can guarantee they will say no. But is it just rude to just go for gold?? My general opinion is if I haven't got to the stage where I can openly discuss all
aspects of sex with a guy then its probably not going anywhere and therefore they don't deserve the full amazingness of that final little treat. I have never just dived in without a prior discussion though. I mean I think I would probably die if they jumped up afraid.
Having said all that about it being one of my main development area's, I have to admit that when I am doing it right and I know I am doing it right and there is orgasms a plenty and smiley face's all round then yes I actually do fucking love giving blow jobs. Only when I know I'm doing well though. It's like anything really. I enjoy work when I'm doing well. I enjoy cleaning when I'm doing it well and everythings spotless. I enjoy the fucking gym when I am smashing it. So yes If I'm giving a nosh and its hit the jackpot then I am more than happy to dish them out like sweeties.
Spit or Swallow? Well that's really a judgement call but they all bloody love a swallower so there's no point in thinking they don't.

Thats about all I have to say on the matter. Thoughts and experiences are welcomed

xx