We all know the type. The people that are nice as pie to your face and then go and slag the living shit out of you behind your back. Whether its something stupid like taking the piss out of your barnet, or something more serious like they are seriously plotting your downfall, we all know at least one person that we couldn't trust as far as we could throw and while we wouldn't go out of our way to do them harm, we would be more than overjoyed if they where to, i don't know, accidentally shit themselves in public for example.
I got to thinking about this after blog gate the other day. Clearly our dear Crankie had been stalking my blog on the stealth for quite some time. I hadn't written one in 2 weeks and when I did write it she was all over it in hours. Its annoying because while I suspected she was a bad stalker, I didn't anticipate the level of stalking she was doing. I can only conclude she must follow my twitter somehow, or checks it right on the reggers anyway. Its also annoying because the blog weren't even meant to be all about her. I wrote that blog about this dude I shagged last winter, and that on Friday I was pissed off because she had made my mate ring me up alllllll night asking me questions about this dude when I was sat in snuggled up. It was out of order and it was that that led me to blog. I only wrote about why we had fell out because I wanted to give you some background on the bellendness of the situation, but the main point of the blog was not about her. I then had a rethink and thought shit I'm gonna cause my mate a whole load of earache here, so I quickly deleted the bit about her and thought right I'll re-write the blog when I get home. But then I went to the gym and I forgot/couldn't be arsed and Unfortunately she had already seen it and gone ape-shit anyway. And she became the main focus of it, which is grim haha.
It got me thinking though, how many other gobshites are reading my blog on the stealth? I reckon there are a couple more undercover mother fuckers that pretend they are not interested in me or my life but secretly sit there eagerly anticipating the next installment of @singlegalabto's escapades. There are a few people I don't see eye to eye with which from my point of view is for no reason. Does anyone else have people that seem to hate them for no apparent reason. Let me tell you, there is always a reason. It is only ever one of the 3 following reasons.
1. You have done something awful to them
2. They are Jealous of you
3. They see you as a threat.
Crankie falls into category number 3. The first thing she did when she realised I was upset was not to look at it from my point of view and try and see things differently, it was to tell me I was insane and twisted and then immediately get in touch with ALL of our mutual friends and tell them I was a liar. She saw me as a threat to her perfect image. And I can't stress this enough I couldn't have been any more gentle in the beginning saying look you know I just feel maybe I could have heard more from you.... Shes probably fucking reading this now and thinking whyyyyys she fucking writing about me, but I know her and if I don't write this and just went onto the next paragraph she would think I thought she was jealous of me, and I can't be arsed with her going around saying ohhhh she thinks i'm jealous what a bitch, I would rather she bitched about me armed with the correct facts haha.
The majority of people who seem to dislike you for no reason will fall whole heartedly into category number 2. Jealous Jealous Jealous. You know the type. The people who are just that little bit fatter than you. On just that little bit less money than you. Just that little bit less fit than you. Just that little bit beneath you. Whose lives are just that little bit shitter than yours. You get me?! So they feel that little bit of envy everytime they see you especially when you live the life of fucking riley like I do. I don't get it though. Don't get me wrong I get jealous of fit rich bastards with better lives than me too, but I'm more the type of person instead of sitting feeling jealous and hating them, I'll make friends with them and then say ok you fucker how did you get that boss hair/boss job/whatever, coz I want it too. I will go out of my way to be nice to anybody I meet. Until they fuck me over. When they are placed firmly in the cunt category. Even once you are in the cunt zone I am still a soft as shit mother fucker and tend to get over things quickly. I have no hatred towards any of my ex's. Not even the ones who shagged the pregnant girls and robbed from me. So you know if you remain in the cunt zone for an extended period of time with me you really must be a proper bad cunt.
I reckon there are a fair few people who know me reading this blog and having a little bitch to each other. Eeeeee she went the swingers club eeeeeee fuckin hell eeeeeeeee she's a slag. No ladies, I believe the term you are looking for is "I wish I had the bollocks to do some of this shit, my life is borrrrrrrrrring". I wish I was a slag. I wish I didn't have a big flump for a heart otherwise I'd be boss at being a slag. But I do ha! I also don't have nearly enough sex to warrant being a slag either. Altho did have some proper boss sex last weekend #smitten! So to those people who are reading my blog on the sly thinking your James Bond, This is a special wave to you!
I can't be arsed with 2 faced people. If you have a problem then man up and speak to me about it. Don't pretend your my mate and then slag me off behind my back. That makes you a bellend.
Elsewhere in my life I am absolutely fuming becuase my boiler is broke errrrrgennnnnn the insurance only covered me for 250quids worth of repairs, I had to pay 87quid for this other part thing, the bloke came out, was here all day, fixed it, it worked for one day and then it broke again. Im fuming. No heating and no hot water. Last night after work I went to the gym but when I had finished I realised I had forgot my towel so couldn't have a shower. I drove to my mums, got in the shower, and then realised I had left my clean clothes in the car. I had to put on some work clothes that I had left there, no bra and my trainers to go home. I had to stop off at the co-op on the way home so I had to walk into the shop in this absolutely beautiful outfit. Carlsberg don't do meffs, but if they did they would probably be dressed the way I was last night.
So today is going to be spent waiting in for the boiler man again. I feel sorry for whoever comes in, they are gonna get both barrels from me I think. Everyone say boiler prayers for me I badly don't want to have to get a new boiler, not least because I haven't got any bastard money!!
@singlegalabto
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