Revenge is Sweet!!!!!

I am on top of the world!!!! Today my dear Andy showed exactly how much I'd got to him! He stayed silent when Allan sent him the message telling him what a fat cunt he was! He remained mute when I named and shamed him in the blog and you lot started slating him which caused him to switch off his twitter. Today however, today was the day that he finally got so fucking pissed off he actually picked the phone up and text me.

I can't express how much this means. Iv been itching for a reaction out of this cunt since the word go and while I knew how much the blog and twitter in particular would have wound him up I had to enjoy it from afar as I knew he would never want to let me know how much he was annoyed. Poor little love just couldn't control himself any longer today though and whilst I was trying out my new mascara this afternoon I got a text from a number I don't have in my phone...

Andy: "So what exactly have you gained from hacking my e-mails"

Scratched my head for a moment, what the fucks he on about? Then I realised.....he must have got the email confirmation that his roller disco's been cancelled!!!!!!!!!!! He must have booked it over email and then when he's seen the email back he must have just assumed I was in his emails! Over fucking joyed!!!!!

Me "hacked your emails??!!!! I haven't!!!!!"

Andy "my whole network has been compromised and I traced the IP address to Liverpool"

Oh yeah alright fucking mark zuckerberg! His network consists of his MacBook, his telly, his play station and his Xbox. We aren't exactly talking the fucking CIA. What's happened has his fucking Xbox sent a coded SOS message to the Feds and now they are all hot footing it up the m6 to apprehend the cyber threat hacker extraordinaire that is @singlegalabto who it transpires breaks down firewalls in her spare time?! Fucking tit!!!

Me "not guilty!!"
"Can't take credit for the I'm afraid!!"
"Why would I hack your emails when I can cause trouble so much more efficiently in other ways!"

Ohhhh god he was livid!!!

Andy" for fucks sake just leave it"

Me "because believe me, you slagged off my son and now it transpires your shagging a child with red hair, I'm just warming up. I will make you wish you had never been fucking born"
"No need to reply this is not a conversation!!!!!!"

OOOOOOOHHHH whipped by his own fucking put down!!!!!!! Love it! I was almost weeing wit excitement!!!!!!!

Andy "all this for a break up god!!!! Are you really that petty"

Me "no, all this because you slagged off my son. And yes, I care about my son more than life. Haven't you got a roller disco to be getting ready for?.....Cunt"

Andy " and that child has been in my life 3 years longer than you. Ok il take these threats on board"

Me " SAVILLE ON SKATES!!!!!!"

Andy "she's 20"

Me "she's not love she's 19"
"Look I'm driving, I can't enjoy this conversation as much as of like, why don't you go and make sure no ones slashed the tyres on your roller skates and il go about my business"

Andy " and you think this is normal behaviour by you is it!"

Me "stop texting me it's only making everyone laugh in the car"

"And yes, it's perfectly normal. You slagged off my son, therefore I am by default now going APE SHIT and I won't stop until you really really really really regret it! Told you I'm just warming up! Funny fucker aren't I! You might thing I'm crazy, thousands more think I'm a fucking hero! Your opinion is negligible. Fucking roller disco birthday party it still cracks me up!!!!!! Bellend!!!!!!!"

Andy " what are you on about"

Andy "I'm not even bothered"

Me "oh but you see you are! You so fucking furious you have actually fucking text me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

He's going nuts and I love it!!! The absolute icing on the cake is that when we rang them up to cancel we put my gay mate on the phone and he told them he was cancelling the party because he had just come of the closet to his girlfriend and he thought she might turn up at the party so he best cancel it! And the woman at the skate park was like oh yes that's probably wise!! And we said that because it was short notice that aswell as the 50quid deposit they should take another 50for the inconvenience!!!!!! So now even of he rings up and says oh my mad ex girlfriend cancelled my party they are going to be like oh yes you did mention that and they will think he's gay!!!!!!!! It's so funny I can't stop laughing!!! This is hands down my favourite break up of all time!!!!! Fucking cunt!!!! Happy birthday Andy!!!!!!!!

I can pull of psycho ex like no other! You can say what you want to me but slate my son or family and you are going down and you can take your skates with you!!!!!!

Until next time!! Xxxxxx




- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone