Monday, 18 March 2013

What a wanker

I had an abusive call yesterday. As you may or may not know I work in a call centre and yesterday I experienced my first ever properly abusive phonecall. A bloke rang up wanking down the phone to me.

Well I couldn't fuckin breathe. First of all he rang up wanting to know something about a payment. He kept taking ages to answer my questions so i just assumed he was a thicko. Then after he'd been quiet for a while I said "so is there anything else I can do do for you" and he was all breathless and then he said "I'm wanking"

Well what the fuck dya say to that?!! I put him on mute and shouted to everyone in the office that I had a wanker on the phone. "What's he said babe" they asked me.
"He's said he's wanking!!!!"

Said to my manager should I release the call and she said fuck that keep him on so we can trace him!!!

So I did. He told me he thought my accent was dead sexy, and that he was wanking and could I see all his personal information and would I give him a ring and then my manager finally got dialled into to the call just in time to hear him say "iv just cum. I wish it would have been inside you".

Well I was traumo'd. My virgin ears weren't made to listen to such filth!! What an absolute fucking weirdo though!!!! Who the fuck would want to ring our work when they were feeling horny it's the least horny place ever. Urgh vile hahaha he was 42 imagine pure sad Middle Aged freak getting his rocks off wankin himself off to unsuspecting young girls on phone!!!!! Had to have a kit Kat and a calm down after that !!! The fucking incident report was the best though it was something like
"Customer continually went silent on call. Consultant probed further customer stated he was masturbating. Consultant requested he refrain from masturbating. Customer continued to masturbate before informing consultant he had ejacualted. Customer indicated he wished he could have ejaculated inside consultant. Call terminated"

Fucking madness he'll get all his business cancelled now! Imagine a company ringing you up and saying "we are awfully sorry we are closing your accounts down I'm afraid you have been sexually abusing the ears of our staff" imaaaagine hahaha I may still report it to the police, I think work might report it anyway but honest to god I feel violated

"Your only fucking livid coz u normally charge 1.50 a minute for that" my sympathetic work colleagues said to me. Fuckers.

Still fuming about the party invitation swervage. Was mainly fuming because when my mate told him I was offended he said
" well she can go and join (insert name of boy no one likes who also wasn't invited here) can't she." Fucking cheek of it! That really pissed me off yano that's why I ended up saying something. Like I said yesterday he told me I wasn't invited coz the chick he likes was going. Iv got more of a chance with prince Harry than hes got with this chick. And today I was informed that he got that pissed at his party he wrecked his own house, smashed all the ale bottles that were full, caused the police to turn up and almost set himself on fire.....and he wonders why she thinks he's a tit. After hearing all that I actually kind of think he's a tit now too.

Fuming tonight because Iv just been driving home whilst comitting numerous traffic offences simultaneously with the tunes blaring when some tit out of work started flashin his lights behind me at the lights, well I thought I was gettin pulled over again didn't I. So I did, and then I realised it was him and I was like stuck in the middle of the road so I basically had to jump the red light and carry on! Fucking cunt, he's on my list an all!!

Nearing the 3 month mark since my last roll in the hay. Starting to climb the walls a bit now though. Refuse point blank to do a one night stand so I think more than likely I'm going to have to recycle a shag of winters past to get me through this dry spell. Got a couple of candidates in mind so we shall see how it goes but if iv not fallen deeply in love by the end of the month then someone is going to get very fucking lucky over Easter.

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