Monday 6 August 2012

Horny and Shagless...please help

The one main thing I don't like about being single is the fact you don't have regular sex on tap. I have got the highest sex drive of anyone I know, and some days I get this insatiable unrelenting desire to just be rattled everywhere. Does anyone else have this problem? Its driving me mad today. In fact I would say the main reason I ever enter into any relationship is because I get to the point where I can not cope without sex!!!! I know my some of my friends must think I get with these dickheads because i'm lonely or something but seriously now it really isn't that, I don't mind being single, I quite like being free to flit off here there and everywhere without having someone to answer to, and I love my personal space...I very rarely invite boyfriends over to my house I always like to go to them, so I can leave when I like. It really is the sex that draws me in first and formost and then the feelings form after.
I think I must be a bloke
So today I have woken up on one of my absolutely steaming days and no matter what I do or how many times I get myself off I just can't shake it!!! Come on girls we all do it! You know it! Thing about self inflicted orgasms though, and I don't know if anyone else feels this, but I always feel like its too easy. I don't feel like I've worked for it! Plus as much as clitoral orgasms are amazing, sometimes I just want a big fat hard cock. I'm sorry but I do! I just love cock its as simple as that. Vibrators don't do it for me. They are too cold and too...hard...its not the same as proper sex. GOD I NEED SOME PROPER SEX!
This is where I start to make poor decisions.
I have already text a dude I was sort of shagging last year to arrange a repeat performance. Now this ones tricky as for many reasons I won't go into I just shouldn't be going there. BUT the dude knows how to fuck. I'm concerned that I am going on holiday tomorrow with my mum and son therefore entire week is going to be completely orgasm free. I can't imagine I shall be pulling anyone on this holiday. Can't be dealing with portgugese waiters and I would imagine all the hot dudes my age will either be going elsewhere or will be where I am accompanied by their wife and kids...sad times.
Was thinking the other night I'm not sure if I even do want a boyfriend at the moment. My best mate was texting me the other night to tell me she was having a row with her fella over a chinese. At first I thought it was just a messing about argument but it soon became apparent she actually genuinely was fuming with her dude because he'd ate all the meat out of the chinese and then had stormed out to the shop without asking her if she wanted anything. And it made me think back to how fucking tedious all the relationships I have ever been in have invariably become. When they irritate the fuck out of you that fucking much the very fact they have ate all the meat out of you sweet n sour makes you fume to the point you need to speak to your mate about it. Then apparently he came back and sat in silence with his hood up until she had a go at him about storming out and then he went out again to get her biscuits FUUUUCKIN HELL is that what I want??? Sometimes I think relationships are just about settling for less than you originally hoped?? OK so suppose you do find a dude that doesn't lie and cheat on you and be a bastard all the time....even they just end up pissing you off in other ways.
I am convinced part of me actually secretly gets off on all the pain and anguish of a bastard though. I used to think that all the time when I was with my ex that applied to be the male escort. Its like being a masochist. Pleasure pain. I'm into the whole submissive thing. My best friend will tell you I went back to Andy because I wanted love and affection and I tend to just sort of agree with her to her face because its easier to say its that rather than to admit that actually its not that at all...part of me enjoys the not knowing and the instability of it all. IT TURNS ME ON. There, I said it! How fucked up is that. I thrive on danger and reckless behaviour. I always have, in every aspect of my life. Don't get me wrong I would absolutely love the whole feeling of being loved and belonging to someone and all that schnizzle but the fact of the matter is the absolute number one main thing I look for in prospective boyfriends is "can this dude make my insides churn up to the point where I can no longer handle it and then fuck me senseless"...I just need to find a decent-ish guy that can carry this off whilst also not be too much of a cunt. Christian Grey would do. He's faithful, he's fucked up and he knows how to deliver decent orgasms in pretty much any arena. Where the fuck is a real Christian Grey??!!! Taking the other 2 Fifty Shades books on holiday so no doubt I'll end up unable to contain my horniness and copping off with some dodgy looky looky man or something but I'll just have to cross that bridge when I come to it.

See you in a week

@singlegalabto xxxx

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