I text stalker jay back..

Fuck it, decided to text the nutcase back

I said "you need psychiatric help"

he replied straight away with "who's this"

lad, are you fucking shitting me here??

so i sent him screen shots of all the messages i had received which included his "who's this" that he had just sent so he couldn't deny all this shit came from his phone and then it went like this:

Me: DOCTORS, NOW! Delete my number, don't ever text me again. Do not reply. This is NOT a conversation. Wierdo

(i stole the do not reply this is not a conversation part from one andy had sent to me the other week do you remember?? The knob comes in handy sometimes haha..haven't heard from him in over a week now by the way, think he is defo RIP now. Winner)

Stalker Jay: Listen, I don't know who you are. I certain didnt send that crazy stuff. left phone in the pub. Delete my number plz

Me: How are you texting on it now then if you left it in the pub you absolute freak of nature its half 9 in the morning! AND you've blocked me on facebook after you saw my public FUCK OFF! And I'll be saving this number just in case you ever have another scitzo episode and do this again so I will know its you!! You will NEVER get laid.

Stalker Jay: Listen, i don't know who u r! And i got my phone at 9am from pub! stop textin me wierdo
Stalker Jay: You freak, dont even know u!Stop textin me

So i think what he is trying to say is that he is an innocent bystander, he went for a drink in his local pub, an unknown mad man who is simarly name Jay somehow became in posession of his phone, text me all night with tales of chopping people up into dog food, and then returned to the pub at the crack of dawn to put the phone back where he found it, so that the real Jay could go and collect it at 9am. I think he's full of shit. Anyway, he's been told now. He can be under no illusions that I want to be his mate.

In other news I am absolutely destroyed after a belter night out last night. Ended up rolling out of Garlands at wrong o'clock sucking on an ice pop off one of the trannies. You can't say fairer thant hat can ya

You know when your on a night out and you get a toilet cubicle which doesn't lock, does anyone actually sit on the toilet just carefree and hope that someone doesn't push the door open? Or are you like me, do you turn into mad contortionist holding the door shut mid piss? Here's what i do. I sit on the toilet and lean forward and push the door shut with my hand. Then, when it comes time to wipe, i lean back, put my foot against the door then take my hand off and use it to get the toilet paper, then i put my hand back on the door and take my foot off to wipe You will notice that there are 2 points when both my hand and foot are on the door, whilst I am sat on the toilet...visualise it. THEN i stand up still holding the door with my hand, turn around, put my back to the door whilst pulling knickers up in a sort of wierd, back against the door shimmy sort of fashion, flush, and then I am ready to leave the cubicle. Surely I can't be the only person that does this?!!

Lay in bed all afternoon trying to refocus my eyes. My symptoms are a bad case of spinny head, sick feeling that I have now got under control but it was touch and go whether i was going to have a spewage. I am literally sweating out pure vodka. I've only had about 3 hours sleep so I am knackered and I could really do with someone to come and just bath me and put me to bed really. Any takers? I knew when I was stood in the off licence saying " 2 capri sun pouches and a bottle of vodka please" that it was going to be a heavy night. On a positive note it cost me next to nothing because we were being scouse and doing handbag vodka.

I'm gonna try and sleep this off tonight, I've sat in bed all day eating a domino's and so I feel like an obese fat fuck that needs her mouth sewing up and all. Gym tomorrow. Defo Defo Defo

Oh an me hair looked boss aswell last night, best mates bought a hood thats like a tube that goes from ur hairdryer into a hood you put over your head. Singed our ears and made us look like we were in arabian nights whilst wearing it but bugger me our hair was fab.

@singlegalabto xxx