Friday 14 September 2012

Av I gorra Telly on me 'ead or wha

I have just had two lesbians eyein me up for my muff no word of a lie.

Decided I would take my lad to Pizza Hut after school for a treat, and when I got there I was sat opposite him and these two lezzas where 2 tables down, except there table was turned the other way to ours so I was basically facing their table and they had to look sideways at me if ya get me.

So I'm sitting there chowing down on a lunchtime meal deal and yano when your ... aware... that people are staring at you? Did a quick grid check to make sure I didn't have a food all over my face....all clear. Checked my barnet wasn't misbehaving, all was good. So what the fucking hell where they staring at??? Tried to ignore them and finish my dinner in peace but I swear to god they were both just fucking gawping at me like I was some wierdo. It nearly put me off my thin and crispy. They finished their ( 2 large ) pizzas and got their bill thank god. And once they had left they had to walk past the window and they continued to fucking stare at me until they got round the corner! What the fucking hell was that all about??? Shit meself I won't lie. Thought I was gonna get muff raped on the way out.

Finished my scran and then walked over to the car where I notice theres 2 lads in a van parked opposite and both of them where staring at me too. And then one of them had their phone out and it seemed to me like they were taking a picture of me on the not so sly!! What the fuck!!!! I swear to god I don't look abnormal today, I didnt have my knickers hanging out or be in any way shape or form out of the ordinary. So what the fuck is everyone staring at?!!!!!

I sincerley doubt it is because they were eyeing me up for my beauty. I am looking particularly rough today, hardly any make up on, scraggy hair, in general not looking my best so it can't be that. Mind you saying that there was one time when my dentist cracked onto me when I was looking horrific!!! It was last year, I'd had to go and have a crown because I had broken one of my back teeth. Anyone who has ever had to suffer such a proceedure will know you have to have quite a few appointments. This was a new dentist. The old one must have died or retired or something so I had never met this bloke before. He was in his 40's, Asian, beard, not really very dentisty but he was alright for someone who drilled peoples faces for a living. I had never had any sort of dental work done before, always been quite lucky in that respect, so I was nervous. And when I get nervous, I get gobby and giggly. This was my first error. At the second appointment he drilled out all of my tooth and put in this temporary thing while my crown was being made at the garage or wherever it is they make these things. I went home, went to bed, and then the anaesthetic wore off......Oh my god. I have never felt pain like it. I would go as far as to say it was worse than childbirth. I ended up being off work for 3 days because the pain was that bad. Even breathing hurt because the air going passed my tooth was enough to literally make me drop to my knees in hysterical tears. As this was my first dental experience I didn't realise this was not normal and he had disturbed the nerve in my tooth, I thought this was just what dentists where all about and this is why people hated them so much.
On my next appointment I swanned in and said "oi you, fucking butcher!! I've been off work for three days because of you! There is not a chance your coming anywhere fucking NEAR my mouth again until I've seen your qualifications". I was fuming. It really was the worst pain ever. I am never off work sick so for me to have to take time off with this pain you must understand it was awful. He was profusely apologetic. Explained that my tooth decay had gone deep into the tooth and was close to the nerve and that I may need root canal work in that case. As the pain had gone by this point I decided I'd just let him stick the crown in and see how I got on but I was not amused. He fitted my new mouth furniture and then sat my down to give me his invoice or whatever it is.
And I still don't believe what happened next
Was sitting there looking at an xray of my gob while he sat and explained to me where i may need fillings in the future. Then he asked me if I was on twitter, so I said yes, and he gave me a business card of the dentists and said would I mind tweeting to say if I had enjoyed the service and all that. "You can fuck off I said, I've been wounded ere!!!" was half joking but yano what I mean. Then he sent the dental nurse out of the room to get something and then he took the business card back and wrote his name and number on the card and then passed it back saying "If ever you fancy a coffee"....
What the Fuck!!!!!!!!! First of all I looked bloody awful and I mean awful...my hair was horrid and greasy, I looked ill because of how much pain I'd been in, shitty clothes, wintery gloom about me! And he'd just been drilling in my mouth! How could he possibly fancy me!!! I mean I know its not all about looks and I know I'm quite fit when I can be arsed having a wash an that, but seriously no one would have wanted to bang me in that condition I swear. Also, isn't there some sort of dentist code?? "Thou must not drill patients, only teeth" that sort of thing? Like the hypocratic oath for doctors? Surely dentists can't go around shagging their patients. Maybe he did genuinely want coffee. Yeah right! I never text him or anything and its been almost a year since I was there so I really should be going back for a check up now but I'm fucking scared to incase he's got a cob on because I never got in touch and tries to pull all my teeth out or something!!!

I haven't heard from carwash dude yano!!! I've decided I'm gonna swerve him. Cant be dealing with people who don't bother their arses to get in touch, especially ones that don't have a pot to piss in. Hope everyones got a lot of decent plans for the weekend! Mine will involve cleaning, coz I'm that hip and happening

@singlegalabto xxx

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