Sunday 2 September 2012

Moaning about being a girl

Right kids, I apologise in advance for those of you who are male readers of my blog but your just going to have to fucking deal with it....

TIME OF THE MONTH

I can't fucking cope with this...basically since my celibacy kicked in last month I kind of got a bit haphazard with taking my pill. "Whats the point?" I thought. A daily reminder that I'm not having sex? And I have been on it for years anyway and people are always saying you should give yourself a break because you might have a stroke or your boobs explode or some shit anyway. So I stopped taking it.

Fuck me sideways what the fucking hell is this I find a few weeks later. A proper, full on...erm..very conscious that a load of dudes will be reading this and throwing up so i'll just say "monthly treat". I feel like my insides are falling out. I'm in agony. I feel like I wanna be sick. Im lethargic, I'm crying (?????!!!wtf) I feel just absolutely terrible. Don't get me wrong, its never normally a picnic every month but this is like all the periods in the world got together to form a giant super period and have planned a strategic attack on my uterus. Why is it doing this to me??!!!!!!!!

Literally couldn't think of anything to cure this. So I went to asda and bought doritos dippas, sour cream, salsa, party rings, jammy dodgers, pink panther wafers, chocolate buttons, twirl bites, cruncy bites, 2 pizzas and some cheese and I am just going to sit under my duvet and eat until it subsides. This is a fucking joke this is. I'm sure someone has broken in and stabbed me in the hoo har overnight.

I fucking feel hatred for everything and everyone today. Especially people (and by people I mean MEN) who reckon that putting up with this shit month after month is easy. Can you imagine if men had to have periods? Seriously, imagine it. Imagine a man sitting there whilst the walls of an internal organ fall away destroying would be babys and making a mess all over everywhere. Never hear the fucking end of it. Usually us chicks take it like a soldier and don't make a fuss but today, sweet jesus alive today has been like an ovarian fucking genocide.

So I've done what any normal girl would do and sat in bed all day eating myself into oblivion. I feel like a bellend now. I can't be dealing with this shit every month so I went on nhs direct for other forms of contraception. Options are the pill, the coil, the implant, some other thing that gets implanted somewhere, or the injection. Decided there isn't a cats chance in hell anyone is embedding anything into my cervix. Just no fucking way. And that horrible implant thing they shove in your arm quite frankly gives me the willies. Fucking seriously why is it only girls who have to have these barbaric proceedures. Why can't lads have a coil wound round their fucking cocks for 5 years? So decided nothing getting implanted, I might consider the injection but then that can go either way and if your unlucky and it makes you have bad side effects then apparently they last the whole fucking 12 weeks. In light of this I have decided to start taking the pill again. Bollocks to this.
I'm still not speaking to "Ryan". Gobshite. Oh and I forgot to say I noticed that personal trainer had deleted me off his facebook the other day!! Hahaha moody fucker wasn't he! Never did get that sueing letter. I'm in such a bad mood because of this trauma I'm going through today I've got half a mind to text him and say ohhhhhhhhhh decide not to go ahead with the sueing then? Is it because you realised that it was actually you breaching the contract you fucking boring pathetic little open university prick? Did I tell you a couple of months ago I saw on his twitter that he'd wrote "I hate it when people cancel private sessions for shit reasons" and I replied to him and said "why don't you threaten to sue them?! That should make people want to use you and help build your business!!!" He blocked me haha!!! Got gym membership up for renewal this month. I might say to them ay listen I'm not happy with the personal trainer you gave me, turned out to be a right little cunt. Best to give the feedback init!

@singlegalabto x x

No comments:

Post a Comment