Disturbing things I have overheard in the gym this week...

Traumo'd.

Been hammering the gym this week because I have a feeling I'll be chowing down for britain once I knock the ciggies on the head #STOPTOBER GET INVOLVED ha sorry just had to get that in.

Right so I won't bore you with a blow by blow of all the sweating I did but I like to finish off my workouts by having a nice little steam room and swim sesh. So I'm in the pool, swimming up and down minding my own business and I can overhear a conversation thats happening in the Jacuzzi. It was between 2 lads and I have to say at first glance I thought hmmm bit tasty you are boys,,,,,,NOT AFTER THIS CONVERSATION.....

"Yeah lad right so I always suspected she was doin it to me yano"
"What dya mean lad?"
"Well right when I got a dose I went round every single bird I was bangin at the time an every last one of them said they were clean so I reckon I must of got it off her me ex bird the dirty bitch"
"Do ya yeah? Bang on that lad"

EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Sorry, are you discussing the fact you've had the fucking clap??? In public?? Do you realise I can hear you from here?? And also it sounds like you were cheating on your bird left right and centre so its divine justice you caught a dose you little prick!

Well that was it then wasn't it. My plans of getting in the jacuzzi where out the window. Imagine I might have caught his stds! Obviously I am aware that they are SEXUALLY transmitted but you know what I mean it just puts you off doesn't it. And when I got out and had a good look at him I mean he looked RIDDLED. I reckon it was probably oozing out of his skin and probably airborne. Vile. One to cross of the to do list me thinks. He sounds like he's been done far too often as it is.

Second thing I overheard was while I was innocently in the toilets. Some bird came in, on the phone to her mate, went into the cubicle and then proceeded to open a box, unwrap a tampon and well, yano, do the business, all while she was on the phone to her mate discussing her period. WHY GOD WHY??? Starting to rethink my gym membership seriously. Between these cranks and moody personal trainers its starting to become a minefield.

Did I tell you the carwash guy eventually got back in touch with me after like 3 days? Swerved lad, you snooze you lose. You can't be arsed to get in touch with me for 3 days? Your jogging on son its a simple as that. Definately in the mood for a new fella though. It seems like now is the time for a brand new dude. I've considered recycling a couple of old ones but I want all the butterflies and excitement of a brand spanking newie. I did think about hopping on the ferry over to the island of lost men (which is my imaginary island where I send all the ex boyfriends/bellends I have met and discarded along the way) and letting one or 2 back over on day release but I'm thinking can I really be bothered. I didn't think much of you the first time round so what is the point of wasting my time. Some of them are a waste of their own fucking time let alone mine. No its time to meet some new dudes and see what they are made of. Just need to work out where I am going to go fishing for my next one hahaha.

We have a few options.
1. The gym - the gym is always brimming with testosterone and fitties lifting weights however it is pretty difficult to cop off in there as firstly most people are only interested in working out whilst inside and secondly everyone looks fucking awful sweaty, redfaced and sometimes in physical pain. Its not really the best place to snare a dude. The steam room or Jacuzzi is your best bet but I've been put off that now because of disease dave from the other day.
2. Our work. I have noticed a few fitties on the other floors of our offices recently. Look a bit young though. Might have to be a cougar.
3. Out in Town. Do I do the unthinkable and remain sober on my next night out? AS IF
4. Order a takeaway. Surely there must be a thai bride equivalent for me?

I wanna have been on at least one date by the end of October. I DONT CARE WHO WITH hahaha apply within


@singlegalabto xxx