Thought I best add a blog on this because I've been keeping a small secret in the fact that Andy got back in touch and subsequently fucked off again. Added me on facebook this time, all I love you's and I'm sorry's and "This better hadn't be going in your blog"'s - which is why I hadn't wrote about it.
Theres not really much to report this time, apart from the fact I have taken a lot of closure steps
You will have read in the last few blogs that I have been having someone trying to get a rise out of me. That person was, of course, Andy. Basically what happened was precisely 2 days after being lovely he was back to being wanker. Apparently some shit had happened with his flatmate and the flatmate had moved out of the flat. Now far be it for me to point this out to our Andy but this is the third...yes count them...THIRD flatmate that has fucked off in 8months. Are you sensing a common denominator here? Its him he drives people away.
He's defo back on the drugs. If he ever really stopped. I know he defo did get a lot better back in June but he's defo defo as bad as ever. I'll tell you how bad it is. And I think this is the reason I found it hard to just walk away from him.
Andy smells like cocaine
Its in his hair, in his skin, on his clothes,. When he used to cuddle me it was all I could smell. Its an overpowering smell. Enough to shock you. I'm not talking about someone who has a couple of grams on a night out. I'm not even talking about someone who goes to a sit off after a night out an then stays there all day. I am talking about someone who will be on it for days and days on end. Line after line. He must have grands worth in the house. And he becomes a completely different person after prolonged useage. He's alright after one night. He's actually alright after 2. Its when its been 3/4/5 days later that he becomes this unrecognisable nasty knob. He loses all concern for anyone. Including himself. And its heartbreaking to watch. I worry about him becuase there is no one around him to keep him grounded. His mum lives abroad and his dad sadly passed away a few years ago. His friendships have a very short shelf life. There are many around him that its plainly obvious only hang about with him for the free gear he dishes out. I fucking wish he didn't have access to so much money, his life would be totally different.
Anyway he must have facebooked me during a rare happy nice phase and then rapidly dissolved into twat. He was all over my facebook commenting on stuff but he was being a complete prick to me behind the scenes on texts.
It got to Wednesday. It was the day of the hillsborough report findings and I was feeling highly emotional about this. I distinctly remember that day in 1989 watching on the telly with my parents and everyone was worried sick because we knew a lot of people who had gone. And it was in the days before mobile phones so we just had to sit and wait all day for news. The people that went to that match have never ever been the same. It was a life changing event for us as indeed for many merseysiders and the truth coming out was obviously a big deal.
During this day I had wrote on my facebook status that "I spend my life pretending to believe lies I swear to god I can't be arsed today"
Now I'll admit that this was blatantly aimed at our Andy. He's been spinning me all sorts of yarns throughout the week about how busy he was and in fact the vast majority of stuff that came out of his mouth was lies it was exhausting trying to pretend I believed him. He did seem to have a pathological lying problem actually, maybe he was a bit mental. Anyway I knew he was fucking lying but I just couldnt be arsed to pull him up on it, I thought I'd just sit and wait and eventually he would become a normal human being.
He commented on the status saying "go back to bed then" so I said "some of us have to work for a living" and he said "how fucking dare you! We are not ok!" and proceeded to delete me on facebook.
Shit just got real
I was so caught up in the emotion of hillsborough I thought to myself "does this self obsessed fucking crack head seriously think I could give 2 flying fucks about his little hissy fit at a time like this?!!!In fact the first feeling I felt on realisation that he had deleted me off fb was one of relief
Later on he started sending me messages about what an arsehole I was or something so I deleted his numbers from every single possible place on my phone, binned all my phonebills so I defo defo defo do not have his number and then I sent him a message on facebook and asked him to block me. At first he was all no no no but I was very much yes yes yes. I couldn't risk getting drunk in the future and messaging him or texting him. And if I blocked him then I could always just easily unblock him and get in touch. I needed him to be far far far out of my life. I can't risk getting sucked back into his knobheadness again. It pulls at my heart strings when he's nice. I think to myself its just the drugs he's a decent person. But the fact is he's far too into that way of life to be arsed about anyone else. Every single relationship that boy has ever had be it with his mother, his sister, his friends, his girlfriends, his children, every last one of them has gone tits up. This comforts me. Its not Me! It's Him!!! And as much as I would have probably gone out of my way to help him out of that life and be a better person if he had let me, fact is, he doesn't want a different life. He must be perfectly happy in the one he has. Which is fair enough I suppose. So he blocked me in the end. I must admit when I saw he'd done it I thought to myself....wow I can't believe that fucking prick actually blocked me! But I know its the best thing that could happen for me. The chances of him fighting for our love a la cheryl cole where minimal. In fact if a Chezza song was relevant at this point it'd probably be "I know you tell me everything under the sun" ha!
So thats it, Andy is officially out of my life and I have absolutely no way of finding him ever again. I doubt he would get in touch with me either, he's far too stubborn for that. Will we see each other again? I don't know. Maybe one day in the future I'll see him sat at a table in a resteraunt in France. Perhaps we will both be with our future families. We'll smile at each other and then go our seperate ways.... Lets just hope we can both move on and find a bit of happiness ay, I'm sick of all this stress!!!!!
@singlegalabto xxx
No comments:
Post a Comment